Sunday, March 7, 2010

Paul Simon Says It All

Well, Blogger is intent on me showing my picture first so I bow to superior strength. I know I'm a little late for February, but I've been having so much fun having my son home for my birthday that I didn't get it uploaded until now.

One of my favorite quotes is: Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.
—Elizabeth Stone Once your child leaves home for school or to start their own lives is a profound life change. Every minute of every day I'm aware that, even though I'm still at home, my heart is wandering around out there. I wouldn't want it any other way--I'm proud of his independence, his courage and his determination to make his life amazing. (And he's doing a superb job of it.) But there my heart is, out there with him. It's a colorful house (perhaps more-so metaphorically) and there's always a cat in the window, but Evan's always there with us, in our hearts.

But, getting back to Paul Simon...all day I've been singing "Have a Good Time" in my head:

Yesterday it was my birthday / I hung one more year on the line. / I should be depressed, / My life's a mess / But I'm havin' a good time.

54's not so bad! I wouldn't go back to my 20's or earlier for all the money in the world. My 30's were nice, but really busy. My 40's were even busier. Now I'm busy, but it's a good busy. More elements of play. Less fretting over things being perfect. (As Anne Lamott says, "I was 35 years old before I realized that a B+ was a good grade.") A much smoother life with less radical ups and downs. My mom is still declining but...each day is pretty darned good. It's a happy little house, getting more colorful all the time.