Saturday, June 12, 2010

Goodbye 'Nore

My mom died on March 30th of this year. My relationship with her was so layered and complex that it would take a long time to cover all of it. There was a lot of good, some bad, and in recent years I spent so much time taking care of her and making the 120 mile trip down to see her every three or four weeks, that some of it was just sheer work. Most of her life she was a delight, though, and she tried not to make too much work for me.

She was funny--really, really funny. A silly sense of humor with just a touch of sarcasm to make it interesting. She was intelligent, well-read, loved flowers, sewing, visiting with her kids and grandkids. She was very creative and resourceful. Her life was not easy, but she was upbeat and hopeful most of the time.

My brothers, at first, were asking me what I'd do with all my free time now that I wasn't taking care of her. I thought, "Oh, no problem," and the first two months I was busy with inheritance stuff and forms and signatures and coping with other situations where I was needed. All of a sudden, now, two months later, I find I've actually been knocked off my pins by this. I try to talk about it but it's like I have no voice. I think I need to just journal about it for a while and not worry about other stuff. Transitions--they're never easy. But I was with her for the last week, and I was with her the day she died. I'm glad I was lucky enough to have that chance. It was hard, but at least I know she wasn't alone.

I think of her when I cook, when I look at my own child, when I talk to my brothers. She was the glue that held the family together. I was lucky to have known her. What a lady.


Lois2037 said...

I came here via your BJP entry. I'm so sorry for your loss. Take all the time you need to heal and process and grieve. You will be missed this year, and welcomed back next year. Right now it's time to take care of you.

Carol Creech said...

I also saw your BJP entry. I am so very sorry for the loss of your mother. No matter how expected, it's still never easy. You definitely had a gift in being with her when she passed. Take your time grieving and healing. You need to replenish yourself. Take care and look forward to when you can return!

Robbie said...

That's why they call them 'memories' need to hang on to them, good, bad, all of them. They are what help us grow and be. Sorry for your might hit that creative edge again one day soon..and then just pick up the BJP for that month!
My best to you in the future!

a2susan said...

I'm so sorry about the death of your mother. Grieving is difficult work, and it's good that you're giving yourself the time you need.

Robin said...

Writing like this seems so important and I feel honored to have been included in your mother's story in this small way. I can see the wit and intelligence in her face. The times you mention, when you think of her, I believe there is a momentary link across the world as we experience it and the spiritual world between her and you.

Thank you for writing about your reasons for leaving the BJP. I understand completely and will welcome you back at any time and in any way that works for you.

Bless you,
Robin A.

Patty Ashworth said...

Writing will help. When my mother in law died, I got back the quilt top that the two of us had put together. Quilting on that sure helped let it out. Tears are in that one.
Believe me, it's a long process, but it does get better. Let the tears out, and you will find laughter at the end. Things will make you smile when you know they are looking over your shoulder. Talk, write, sew about it. Don't hold things in. Your creations will show your emotions. Celebrate the good things that you remember. Take care.

Loz said...

My mum died on Sept 11 and it's still very raw and hard to believe for me

savita said...

Data Entry Outsourcing Projects Available at
visionjobcare.comoffers different types of outsourcing projects. Online data entry is one of the best home job for housewives, unemployed, students and part time job finders. Easy Job, just spend 2hrs. daily, & make massive monthly income. We pay you $5 per Assignment. Each Assignment of 5 lines.
For more details E-mail us at
Visit Us at

genuine_pills said...

Great stuff you've got there. Thanks for you post. It is much an information to share. Just like the genuine pills I found online. Just worth sharing.

Jeanie said...

I loved seeing your picture of your mom, Nore. I was fortunate enough to know her, and she even opened her home to me more than 30 years ago the summer we sorted potatoes at Bakers Potatoes in Kennewick. We were poor college students trying to earn some money. I've never worked a harder job in my life. But you and your mom made it fun when we weren't working. I remember her humor and kindness, and how much fun it was to make homemade rootbeer. I saw her face and I was happy. I know you miss her. Love you both.

Anthony said...
sac a main louis vuitton
sac a main chanel
tee shirts

tonymon's travel !! said...

She sure looks like a jovial, intersting and fun loving person... !! May her soul rest in peace ....

kevin21 said...

Newport Cigarettes in selling the work to us to be such familiar, specialized in selling us works annual several important matters to say entire. Old tobacco pipe: Actually regardless of being raw material safeguard, the brand development, the market marketing, in 2011 the Newport Cigarettes Official Website profession best performance must belong to our science and technology department. Science and technology The front important matter, the good Marlboro Lights, marriage celebration meet one.

The biggest marriage celebration is the Chinese Cheap Newport Cigarettes genome team plans makes the important breakthrough. Villose tobacco and Lin Yan The grass entire genome team sequence atlas already completed by the Chinese tobacco. This is the global first set of Newport Cigarettes genome team sequence Cheap Newports, is also after the potato and the tomato genome team The whole world completes third kind of solanaceae plant entire genome team sequence atlas.

This will found the Newport Coupons scientific research and the technological development epoch, is the tobacco scientific Newport Cigarettes one An important milestone, Newports that the tobacco research henceforth comprehensively enters the genome team time. Small cigarette: Yes, but also had Xie Jianping to be elected as Chinese Academy of Engineering academician, this was the profession second academician, this explained our profession the scientific innovation strength Obtains the national acknowledgment.

Old tobacco pipe: The academician Xie election was profession these many years science and technology works the miniature which the thick Newport Cigarettes Website sent thinly. Actually as early as in April, 2011, national Discount Cigarettes With Virginia Stamp profession 2011 In the year political work conference, 9 are reducing the evil to fall burnt, the cigarette to adjust the fragrance, the tobacco breeding, the cigarette craft, the leaf tobacco cultivation and the modulation direction makes the outstanding contributions the scientific research The personnel are awarded "the Newports Cigarettes Website profession leader".

Anonymous said...

sac a main chanel
tee shirts
sac louis vuitton
sac prada
chaussures louis vuitton
chaussures dunk sb
burberry pas cher
Tee shirts pas cher

Holly said...

You are a strong person to realize what a treasure you had the opportunity of knowing. to think of it in terms of a benefit to have that experience rather than to lament on the grieving says plenty about you.
my condolences on your loss, my congratulations on your strength.

Bali Hotels said...

Nice Post . . .:)
Booking Bali Hotels Online ,Get 40 until 50% Discount of each hotel in bali the website address is below :

Bali Hotels
Kuta Hotels
Nusa Dua Hotels
Sanur Beach Hotel
Legian Hotels
Seminyak Hotels
Phuket Hotels

You can trust it . Low Rates and guaranteed

Book Now! and Get your discount!!!
Best Regards

Very nice posting, I love this blog so much ^_^

Saad ali said...

It’s great to see good information being shared and also to see fresh, creative
ideas that have never been done before.

Real Estate Publicity
Multimedia Presentation
Corporate Presentation
3D Images

yura miheev said...

курсы продвижения раскрутки сайтов Обучение раскрутке продвижение сайтов в поисковых системах Яндекс, Rambler, Google и др.

ali said...

Vuhelp are providing you better help in courses and also entertainment. Vuhelp develop assignment solutions, past papers, current papers and final project solutions for the students. You can also find out some interesting news and hot current affairs

boomer said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother. You expressed yourself so beautifully.